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By Malcolm Knox
Issue: Inside Sport April 2006
DAVID BOONE: VB
“The cricket’s over – let’s play some
table tennis.” So said those little Boonie figurines as
part of VB’s Boonanza campaign last summer. It was all part
of Foster’s Group’s grand plan to pump David Clarence
Boon, former Australian cricketer and keg on legs, and their product.
And it sort of worked. Grown men collapsed into fits of laughter
every time Boonie tweaked his box on the TV ad. Then came the
reality check: this is an Australian selector. He should be watching
the game!
LIZ SMILEY: EXTRA CHEWING GUM
You have to wonder at the creative genius behind making your public
spokesperson a tennis player with a speech impediment. “Schtays
freschlch all day,” slushed Smiley. It worked for Sean Connery,
so why not give it a try? And it worked for the chewing gum, too.
Raincoats and face masks were de rigueur all around the nation
as the public imitated Smiley’s irrigation.
LISA CURRY-KENNY: P&O CRUISES
We can all find ourselves daydreaming about a nice sunny ocean
cruise. The carefree days, the hedonistic nights, the ceaseless
rise and fall of the blue horizon … until you realise you
might be boogieing the night away around the handbag of a bronze-skinned,
platinum-helmeted two-pot screamer from the Gold Coast. What’s
that grossed-out shiver Bart Simpson gives whenever he thinks
of his aunts, Patty and Selma? Eeeuuww!
JUSTIN LANGER: JOHNNIE WALKER
Some seriously nice cinematography in this ad, with the Brown-Nosed
Gnome pondering life’s deep issues on the streets of London.
Our only question is: Does anyone have a clue what he’s
trying to say? “Numbers define me … for some it’s
how many … for me it’s always just one more.”
Earth to Langer … Langer? Nah, we’ve lost him.
MERV HUGHES: HAHN LIGHT
Kylie can’t get Hughes out of her head. Nor can we. In fact,
this was a great ad.
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