“I don’t think the team should be called England. They should be called Kevin Pietersen’s All-Stars or the ECB Crackerjacks.”
– Bob Willis on the richest game of cricket ever played – England v the Allen Stanford All-Stars. The All-Stars won and took home $31 million.

“This is about business. They’ve got me in a crummy hotel, they had me fly here business-class, not first, and I’m a heavyweight, but they give me £30 a day to eat. It costs me £22 for dinner. And I’m in a 14-by-14 room.”
– America’s Monte Barrett in the pre-fight build up to his heavyweight clash with England’s David Haye. He hit the canvas five times in as many rounds before the towel was thrown.

“No other side of Australia’s stature and quality has existed at the sharp end of international rugby for so long with such a fundamental flaw to their game, begging the questions: How and why have they got away with it for so long?”
– Former England lock Paul Ackford in the lead-up to the Wallabies’ clash with England at Twickenham. The Wallabies won 28-14 and hooker Stephen Moore was man of the match.

“I’m not in control of my life. If the Lord says, ‘I made you heavyweight champion again and I want you to keep fighting,’ I’ll stay as long as He wants me to stay.”
– 46-year-old Evander Holyfield on his return to boxing.

“The Australians might start banging the drum, saying they’re going to win next summer, but I don’t think so for one moment. We’ll win easily.”
– Ian Botham on the ’09 Ashes.

“They’ve kicked our backsides. We’ve got to lick our wounds.”
– Wigan manager Steve Bruce after a 3-0 defeat to Arsenal.

“It’s bragging rights for as long as you live. If one side took a hammering, imagine the crap they’d have to put up with for the next 50 years.”
– Phil Blake on the proposed Kangaroos v Wallabies cross-code clash.

“The new coach is 67 years old and looks to be suffering from Parkinson’s. The new chairman, 75. Out with the new and in with the very old.”
– Geoff Lawson on his sacking as Pakistan cricket coach.

“I think they were busy writing their books, while we were busy preparing for the series.”
– Harbhajan explains why the Indians towelled the Aussies 2-0.

“You’re the c*** who cost us the World Cup.”
– Australian coach Ricky Stuart’s alleged call to RLWC final ref Ashley Klein.

“A guy starts to get punchy, what is he supposed to do? He can’t disappear … The idiot who had a go at him is sitting at home with a smile from ear to ear because his life isn’t being scrutinised.”
– Jimmy Maher on Andrew Symonds’ latest pub scuffle.

“David uses Goliath’s sword to cut his head off. This battle will not only be physical, but spiritual as well.”
– Fijian manager Ilaitia Naqau before his boys met the Kangaroos in the semis of the Rugby League World Cup. Fiji lost 52-0.

“It’s like touching heaven with my hands.”
– Diego Maradona after being appointed Argentina manager.

“You used to be able to shout down a coalmine, ‘Send a forward up,’ and then one would come up and perform. That’s what used to happen, but they ain’t there any more.”
– Tommy Bishop on the England team who won just one match in their RLWC campaign.

“The last time I was charged by the FA, they had a murder lawyer in against me, so it’s going to be a hard case to win.”
– Sunderland boss Roy Keane after verballing the ref at half-time during his side’s 5-0 obliteration at the hands of Chelsea.

“Brock’s a big bloke, isn’t he? If you found him in bed with your girlfriend, you’d tuck him in.”
– Ricky “The Hitman” Hatton on the Brock Lesnar (left)-Randy Couture UFC World Heavyweight title bout.

“That’s just a big son of a bitch, that’s all there is to it.”
– Randy Couture after being stopped by Lesnar in the second round.

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