What’s the difference between a tea bag and the English cricket team?

A tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Cup Photo by Getty Images.

When would an English cricketer ever have 100 runs against his name?

When he is bowling.

Bowling Photo by Getty Images.

What’s the England version of LBW?

Lost. Beaten. Walloped.

LBW Photo by Getty Images.

What did the cricket fan miss when he went to the bar?

The entire England innings.

Bar Photo by Getty Images.

What do you call an Englishman who’s good with a bat?

A vet.

Bet-vet Photo by Getty Images.

Who has the easiest job in the English cricket squad?

The person who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

red-ball Photo by Getty Images.

What does an Englishman put in his hands to guarantee there’s a wicket next ball?

A bat.

wicket Photo by Getty Images.

What is the height of optimism?

An English batsman putting on sunscreen.

sunscreen Photo by Getty Images.

What is the main function of the English cricket coach?

To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

coach Photo by Getty Images.

Why don’t English fielders need pre-tour travel injections?

Because they never catch anything.

drop-catch Photo by Getty Images.

What advantage does Eoin Morgan have over his team-mates?

At least he can say he’s not English.

Morgan Photo by Getty Images.