Ridiculous gesticulating

Victoria Azarenka and co pull more fist-pumps in one match than Roger Federer has in his whole career. Ana Ivanovic starts with the “Ajde!” in the warm-up. Recently I watched an Evert-Navratilova final via the miracle of YouTube. They hit a bazillion winners. Zero fist-pumps. Let’s dial down the emotional volume, ladies. It’s the tennis equivalent of Spinal Tap turning it up to 11.

Cirstea Cirstea

5-1 down in the third

Feigning and exaggerating injury, or retiring at 5-1 down in the third set, are this decade’s version of the strategic bathroom break. You always want to give an athlete the benefit of the doubt, but some scorelines make you wonder whether it’s about avoiding further injury or robbing an opponent of the winning moment.

At Doha last February, Victoria Azarenka and world No.3 Agnieszka Radwanska got into a spat after the Pole accused her friend of playing up a rolled ankle. “I was angry because I don’t think this is the great image for the women’s tennis,” charged Radwanska, who lost both the match and “a lot of respect” for the new No.1. Azarenka also copped a sly serve from Maria Sharapova after the Russian beat her in the final at Stuttgart. This match also featured an Azarenka medical time-out, with Sharapova sarcastically telling the crowd it was a pity that “Vika was extremely injured today”.

Yet another contentious time-out by Azarenka came at Beijing in 2009 when Sharapova asked the umpire: “Is her last name Jankovic?” A not-so-subtle shot at former No.1 Jelena, a self-confessed drama llama who reflexively called for the trainer.