Alex Rodriguez lets rip. Alex Rodriguez lets rip.
Images: Getty Images

Each batter’s trip from the dugout to the plate is complemented by the stadium DJ’s best doof-doof work, before he makes way for that famous baseball PA drawl: “Now batting for the Yankees ... number 14 ... Curtis Granderson ... number 14.” (Wouldn’t quite work at CUA Stadium, would it? “Now playing for the Panthers, Number 10, Petero Civoniceva, Number 10.” Nup.) The baseball organist is still a staple at Yankee Stadium, too.

Then something interesting happens. As you’re sitting there in your padded seat, feeling over-nourished from your ice cream served in a blue plastic Yankees cap-bowl, you notice the grounds staff who are combing the in-field dirt like a parade of ride-on mowers manicuring Augusta. One of them starts to shake his hips, his mates follow, twirl their broom handles around their heads, then explode into a dance revue of The Village People’s YMCA like it’s the most normal thing in the world. (It is in these parts, because most of the 44,000 in attendance spell out the famous letters, too.) The NRL’s and AFL’s water runners are severely underutilised, in our opinion.

It’s the seventh-inning stretch. Yankee Stadium is letting its hair down, although, all too quickly, attention turns to the jumbo-vision replay screen which has been keeping the kids occupied with guess-which-hat-the-baseball-is-under games and competitions where the camera picks out muscle-flexing seven-year-olds. Highlights from today’s play and from Rangers-Yankees battle royals of yesteryear have also dominated. God Bless America is everyone’s tune now, though. If you can imagine the Australian Rugby League Kangaroos stopping play with three-quarters of the match gone to be upstanding for the national anthem, you’ll get the picture of what the seventh-inning stretch phenomenon is all about: Yankees and Rangers soldiers standing with caps in hand and over hearts. The crowd’s doing likewise, revelling in their boys’ and city’s brilliance. They’re proud to be part of this most famous of all-American clubs. A stirring rendition at the end of the “stretch” of Take Me Out To The Ball Game delivers the knockout stereotype.

With the sun setting, lowering the temp inside the arena, wipe the smirk off your face, sit back and enjoy the Yankees cruising home for another W. They’ve made the days of over 40,000 lovers of America’s national pastime, and have made you want to come back. Make sure you do – the party will keep going while you’re away and Frank Sinatra’s New York, New York will keep playing after every win.

Besides, now you know there’s nothing remotely like this back home.

– James Smith