The resort in all its glory. The resort in all its glory. Images courtesy Club Med.

Lucky guests eager to discover a different kind of Japanese cuisine are invited to sit in on a special sushi-making demo. Now, we’ve all been transported to the land of bonsai courtesy of sushi packed in plastic boxes at the local

food forum in our lunchbreak, but ever wondered how the Japanese handle Japanese food prep? When the resort’s super-chef delivers the fabled “square sushi”, the locals’ response is a forecast to planet Earth’s reaction to the second coming of God. His genius is a tad lost on his audience’s antipodean members this day – akin to Japanese tourists not fully appreciating the heroics of The Don while visiting Bradman Oval, maybe?

The hottest place at Club Med. The hottest place at Club Med. Images courtesy of Club Med.

What better way of helping all that fare down than by diving into Club Med’s gorgeous, glass-roofed-and-walled swimming centre. It’s almost all too perfect, until guests discover the adjacent, boiling jacuzzi, relegating the luxurious pool to ho-hum standards. Club Medders needn’t question the sanity of fellow guests witnessed stripping down to their togs and venturing outside into the freezing, breathtaking outdoors. These brave souls are only stepping into the Canadian hot tub, a tumble turn’s distance from the pool’s side entrance.

It’s mid-afternoon and by now the bumps and bruises picked up from landing on wrong body parts on the advanced ski trails (they should’ve stuck to the beginners’ set, hey?) are starting to create havoc beneath the skin’s surface, which is why there’s a queue outside the masseuse’s quarters.

If you’re unable to find your mate there – or that snow-bunny you met at the chair lift – it’s likely they’ve returned to their authentic Japanese-style luxury room, complete with kneeling table 30cm off the floor, gotten changed into their evening wear, and headed down to the resort’s glitzy bar. Be sure to hurry down there – your fellow resort-

stayers are awaiting your made-up tales of how you conquered Japan’s beautiful snow-capped landscape.

Those GOs aren’t just ski instructors and professional diners; there’s yet another string to their bow. They’ll even put on an after-dinner and mid-drink stage show each night for the tourists, too. One night it could be Moulin Rouge, the next a Brazilian Carnivalista offering, then a “Pure White” snow show.

All this gets us thinking: maybe we have in fact been hooked up to Nozick’s imaginarium. Either way, hanging out on Japan’s superior powder fields is as close to the perfect life we can imagine.

‒ James Smith